We’ve had the 101 and the 201. Now, it’s time for the 301.
It’s been 2.5 years since I wrote the 201, which covered pressure flipping it to drive it home that she really doesn’t want to know.
The warning from the 201 still stands
As a warning, do not skip the 101 version and go straight to the 201. Because if you do, the response you're going to get back is "Of course I do you fucking prick. Watch me divorce rape your ass.”
The short version of the 301 is this — you, as a man, are simply looking to engage life whenever and wherever it happens because variety is the spice of life.
Just like the 3rd year old college doesn’t happen overnight, going straight to this 301 version of this will take years old build up. The inspiration and credit for this goes to TheUltimateCad (and those like him who came before him) - who took care of his family but also made sure to take care of himself.
The basic requirements by this point are:
You’re awesome.
In every sense of the word. As a father, as a husband, and as a boyfriend. You bring a type of authority and stability to the family, your wife looks up to and admires you, and replacing you would be a hard ask.
You know your priorities.
And your family is your #1 priority. This is important because you need this level of authenticity. You’re not looking to fall in love. You’re not looking for a new family.
You are going to do you.
Because you’re awesome, and because you have priorities, once those are taken care of - you’re going to make sure you live your life fulfilled. The reality is that the mundane and repetitive suck! And family life is nothing if not that - mundane and boring. It has to be that way in order for it to be successful. You can’t be out doing coke and hookers with your wife every weekend night.
A couple of don’t:
Don’t assume your wife is an idiot.
She’s not. It’s that simple. [Remember, by now you should’ve covered the 101 and 201, and you’re at a place where you’re responsible for the family.]
Don’t bring anything home.
You’re not going to embarrass your wife or the family. Always maintain plausible deniability. People may assume your wife is a simpleton or pushover, but the ideal reality will be that she understands you better than any other random person can.
Final Warning - this is playing with dynamite. This can and will blow up in your face. Proceed with caution.
Here’s the 301 version.
Q: Are you having an affair?
A: I have no intentions of getting a new family, but you know I crave variety. Steak might be my favorite food and I’ll always come back to it, but some times, there’s a burger that just looks to good to turn down.
Note - after 201, she’ll most likely never ask the question again. You might need to deliver some flavor of the answer on your own to set the stage.
Remember, you’re not out trying to have affairs, you’re out engaging with life. If you’re going out trying to have affairs and falling in love, just do your family a favor and get the divorce first. But if you love your family and you love your wife, take care of them, then take care of you.
Epilogue
Why would a man do this? The answer is pretty simple - why should multiple people suffer because I’m selfish? When the family is generally happy, getting a divorce because I get bored and want to have some fun with a 26 year old every once in a while seems like a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Besides, if you’re this type of man or become this type of man, not only will a woman already know, but you’re going to be hell bent on going this route anyway. That’s why it’s called the 7 year itch (which actually peaks at 5 years). It should be no coincidence that this series has developed over 6 years.