I write this sitting at 39000 feet, flying back to the states, sitting in Delta One drinking my coke with a lime.
I get letters and messages from time to time thanking me profusely about how life changing my advice was for them. It is pure bullshit. Here's an example.
Look at that. You can almost feel the gratitude. Isn’t that great?
Not really, no. Because that message has nothing to do with me. It’s about the person writing the message. The person is reflecting and recognizing the progress that they’ve made, and the new freedom and choice in life they now have. That's actually really awesome, but it's only awesome for them. They should be writing that letter to themselves.
Dear Past Me,
Thank you for making the choice and taking the actions to stop being such a useless fuckup.
Sincerely,
Current Me
Think about it. What does any of that have to do with me? So why is the gratitude towards me? It's like telling your - “Guys, thanks for working so hard. Your hard work made the company an extra $3.5 million.” You'd never do that because it's fucking idiotic. Gratitude needs to be about the person you're showing gratitude towards. “Guys. Your hard work allowed us to hit our KPIs. You're all getting an extra 25% on top of your bonus.”
I get it. The manosphere is full of guys who's advice is life changing. You get involved and the whole world changes, usually for the better. You feel grateful - and you want to express it. Make it about them. Go buy Rian's book. Send a few bucks in YouTube stream. Promote Jack’s course. Do something so that the gratitude is for the person, and not for yourself. Add value.
Note: the same advice applies to romantic and professional relationships.